Guaranteed to help you find the true love of your life!
One date = $500.00*
Finding the love of your life = Priceless
One date includes: Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments, clothing tips, hygiene advice, random embarrassing moments, dating advice, and the guarantee you'll never see me again!
Contact me today at: 1 - 800 - FTLOYLF (Find the Love of Your Life)!
Before you call that number I hope you realize this is just a piece of creative non-fiction. That number might get you a pizza, an angry grandmother, or the local listing for your state prison. But it won't help you reach me. I'm just a momentary piece of luck, guaranteed to disappear once the next one comes along.
Having successfully helped multiple men find the true love of their lives while we were dating, before we got serious, after we got serious, before the engagement, after our marriage (and subsequent divorce), and while we were just "friends" - I have a little bit of a golden chip on my shoulder about my ability to truly help you find someone who will make your heart swoon. After dating me, you'll be almost qualified to give up all your other female "friends" in your endeavor to find the one that will own your heart, mind, and soul in order to truly fulfill her hearts desire - children.
Don't run yet! Having been wrapped up in that tight little bundle, remind yourself that during our dating "exercises" you found the courage to put the past behind you in order to become a family man, because I'm just that good!
After dating me not only will you be able to find the love of your life, but you'll be ready to leave the club scene, get a good job, buy a house, and finally commit to the woman you want to raise a family with, and really, truly, settle down! Imagine it!!! Finally, at your fingertips, the path to the future you always wanted.
Contact me today for a dating adventure that will truly alter your ego, and dissolve your mind!
*No intimacy allowed!
