Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments, clothing tips, hygiene advice, random embarrassing moments, dating advice, and the guarantee you'll never see me again!
_____________________________________________
Random embarrassing moments are best categorized as the idea that someone involved is actually embarrassed, not mortified, traumatized or bullied. They're random, they're supposed to be that way. Unexpected, uncharted, uncontrollable. Random.
Sweet, undefined, random.
One of the best ways to actually approach these moments it to have a sense of humor. No, you won't feel good about yourself when you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to the heel of your shoe - but when you can laugh at it and show off your pearly whites, you just might dazzle that memory away.
One of the most random embarrassing moments for me happened late one night in San Francisco, California. It was late, way too late. Most of the stores were closed in fact. I was out past my personal curfew and with a guy friend, who had absolutely no interest in dating me. We were exploring the city, having no idea where we were, and were looking for Ghirardelli Square because we really wanted some really good ice cream.
While accidentally walking towards the wrong part of town (we truly had no idea where we were) a homeless fellow came up to us and proceeded to give us a dating ticket. It still is my favorite random, embarrassing moment of my life, and it goes something like this.
Homeless man, "You aren't holding her hand. Check. That will be 25 cents. She's walking too far away, you better catch up. Check. That will be another 50 cents. Oh dear, she's scowling at you. Check. That will be at least a dollar. Oh, now she's hurrying away. You better hold her hand or kiss her! Show her how you feel before she just gets in the car and drives away."
While this is going on, he's walking next to us with a pretend pad of paper in his hand and an invisible pen. He followed us all the way to a hotel where we ducked inside the lobby and pretended we were checking in. When he finally disappeared, we headed back outside, quickly, towards wherever our car was parked. We laughed and blushed involuntarily, discussing the story in detail, but seriously, talk about awkward.
I'd known that guy most of my life, so he's probably blocked it out completely by now. Thank goodness!
Awkward things like that can happen to anyone on a date. Sometimes it's just bad timing, other times it really was just a horrible accident, but in the end it's how you walk away from them that make you someone to date again. Unexpectedly, they become a chance to show your humor, temper, or how bright red you really can blush. But whatever your reaction is, just know, it might affect whether or not you go on a date with that person again.
While random embarrassing moments can have the potential to scar you for life (believe me, I KNOW) they too can have the power to take your life on a new and better path if you find the strength to bounce back from them. So get out there, accept your randomness, bounce back, and keep on trying!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
2 - ...clothing tips, hygiene advice...
Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments, clothing tips, hygiene advice, random embarrassing moments, dating advice, and the guarantee you'll never see me again!
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All of us are attractive people. Some look more like models, others feel more ordinary in their appearance, but we all share the common right to believe we are attractive.
Q&A
When deciding if you think you need help with clothing or hygiene for your date, ask yourself these three questions.
1. Do you really want to bathe and clean up for this date?
2. Should you wear your holey jeans or the new ones you just bought for dinner at your parents' house.
3. How freely can people breathe around you when dating you?
Clothing tips
In terms of clothing, there is a wide range of options out there which could match each person according to their interest and gender. There are multiple options for women, that can cater to every type of woman. As a personal preference I find InStyle magazine to be a reliable go to magazine for any woman out there.
In terms of fashion advice for men, there has recently been an influx in male focused fashion magazines, and one that has recently caught my attention is called Azzarenko. It offers a wide range of help for men. Those who have been newly introduced to fashion, along with those who have a long history with being a fashionable man, can find great clothing tips and advice inside that magazine.
When examining your wardrobe though some of the following tips can help you make a great first impression on your date.
*Holey jeans, especially the ones with the hole "in that one spot" are not allowed!
*The old t-shirt from your college days, whether it be one year or 20 years ago, are not allowed except as an excuse for a handkerchief!!!
*Shoes should match your outfit and their appearance will definitely be noted as a key piece in the costume you have chosen to wear for the night.
*Accessories should be limited to that which you need for the night, and not for the rest of the relationship.
*Breathe. Can you breathe well around the house in what you are wearing tonight? Can you breathe still despite the odor exuding from it?
*Breathe 2. Can you breathe and still feel like yourself in whatever perfume or cologne you have on so that you can also feel comfortable on the date?
Hygiene
Bathe. For the love of whoever you are going to go spend time with, bathe!! Not a quick shower, not a brief bath, a genuine, soap lathering moment in your life. Use it as a chance to prepare yourself for the events of the evening so that you can be as pleasant to be around as possible.
Spritzing on some cologne, or perfume, alone after a rigorous game of basketball will NOT clear up the stench nor take away the residue of sweat still protruding from your sideburns. I know it can be painful and seemingly a waste of time, if you think the date might not go well. But if you don't want to bathe or actually get ready for that date, why not save that other person some time as well and just cancel the date? Honestly, you'll both be better off.
On the off hand that you still dare to date without bathing, be prepared for a lack of; kissing, hand holding, or second dating. In the American culture, especially, hygiene and good physical care are of the highest priority.
Plucking, tooth brushing, shaving. Putting on deodorant, clean socks and clean clothing are other good activities to engage in before getting ready to go out for the night. Fixing your hair, or at least putting a comb through it again is definitely worth the time as well.
Some good advice I have been given in my life is that right before I leave the house, you should go into the bathroom, check your face to make sure its' clean, brush your hair, put on fresh deodorant and brush your teeth. That way you're as fresh and presentable as possible before you leave the house. Checking makeup is also a good idea, if you choose to wear it.
Have fun. Enjoy the way you look and the person you are. I'm a firm believer in the fact that half of what makes a person attractive on the outside is the way they personally care for themselves. The other half, is the glow that comes from within about how they feel about who they truly are.
--------------
All of us are attractive people. Some look more like models, others feel more ordinary in their appearance, but we all share the common right to believe we are attractive.
Q&A
When deciding if you think you need help with clothing or hygiene for your date, ask yourself these three questions.
1. Do you really want to bathe and clean up for this date?
2. Should you wear your holey jeans or the new ones you just bought for dinner at your parents' house.
3. How freely can people breathe around you when dating you?
Clothing tips
In terms of clothing, there is a wide range of options out there which could match each person according to their interest and gender. There are multiple options for women, that can cater to every type of woman. As a personal preference I find InStyle magazine to be a reliable go to magazine for any woman out there.
In terms of fashion advice for men, there has recently been an influx in male focused fashion magazines, and one that has recently caught my attention is called Azzarenko. It offers a wide range of help for men. Those who have been newly introduced to fashion, along with those who have a long history with being a fashionable man, can find great clothing tips and advice inside that magazine.
When examining your wardrobe though some of the following tips can help you make a great first impression on your date.
*Holey jeans, especially the ones with the hole "in that one spot" are not allowed!
*The old t-shirt from your college days, whether it be one year or 20 years ago, are not allowed except as an excuse for a handkerchief!!!
*Shoes should match your outfit and their appearance will definitely be noted as a key piece in the costume you have chosen to wear for the night.
*Accessories should be limited to that which you need for the night, and not for the rest of the relationship.
*Breathe. Can you breathe well around the house in what you are wearing tonight? Can you breathe still despite the odor exuding from it?
*Breathe 2. Can you breathe and still feel like yourself in whatever perfume or cologne you have on so that you can also feel comfortable on the date?
Hygiene
Bathe. For the love of whoever you are going to go spend time with, bathe!! Not a quick shower, not a brief bath, a genuine, soap lathering moment in your life. Use it as a chance to prepare yourself for the events of the evening so that you can be as pleasant to be around as possible.
Spritzing on some cologne, or perfume, alone after a rigorous game of basketball will NOT clear up the stench nor take away the residue of sweat still protruding from your sideburns. I know it can be painful and seemingly a waste of time, if you think the date might not go well. But if you don't want to bathe or actually get ready for that date, why not save that other person some time as well and just cancel the date? Honestly, you'll both be better off.
On the off hand that you still dare to date without bathing, be prepared for a lack of; kissing, hand holding, or second dating. In the American culture, especially, hygiene and good physical care are of the highest priority.
Plucking, tooth brushing, shaving. Putting on deodorant, clean socks and clean clothing are other good activities to engage in before getting ready to go out for the night. Fixing your hair, or at least putting a comb through it again is definitely worth the time as well.
Some good advice I have been given in my life is that right before I leave the house, you should go into the bathroom, check your face to make sure its' clean, brush your hair, put on fresh deodorant and brush your teeth. That way you're as fresh and presentable as possible before you leave the house. Checking makeup is also a good idea, if you choose to wear it.
Have fun. Enjoy the way you look and the person you are. I'm a firm believer in the fact that half of what makes a person attractive on the outside is the way they personally care for themselves. The other half, is the glow that comes from within about how they feel about who they truly are.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
1 - Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments....
Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments, clothing tips, hygiene advice, random embarrassing moments, dating advice, and the guarantee you'll never see me again!
--------------------------------------
Dating can often be like trying on a new pair of shoes. At first the shoes might be a little too tight or uncomfortable to be around, and you might not even buy those shoes. But if you go home, and just can't get those shoes off of your mind, you know you're probably going back to the store to get them the next day, in the hope that finally you've found another pair of favorite shoes. People are like that. Sometimes they're more uncomfortable and reserved on a first date, to avoid any hurt, which is perfectly normal to feel. It's on the second date or later on that you're going to find out if that person could be a great fit for you.
Compliments
Find something right away that you can compliment them on when you get picked up, meet at the restaurant, find each other standing at the corner, etc. Clothing, hair, shoes - acceptable. Boobs, six pack, fat suit - not appropriate. Only give a compliment you know someone would want to hear, and don't just say the first thing that crosses your mind.
Try to not judge a book by its' cover. You might not be instantly attracted to the person you are on a date with. If you're actively pursuing a relationship, rather than wanting a one night stand, take some time to see the good in the person you are with. You can't always control the way a person looks, but you can choose to accept who they are.
Giving a compliment can help you build a list of things you like about that person. It's not meant to be a chance to offer some kind of weird review of the person, or to do a backwards interview, but is rather a chance to see if you like the good you see in them. Keep in mind for later on the compliments you gave that person, and decide later if that's the kind of person you want to go on a second date with.
Conversational moments
When going on a date with someone there are some things you should, and others you should not, talk about.
Should Should not
*Sports *Family
*Hobbies *Marriage
*Movies *Politics
*Entertainment *Religion
*Travel *Diseases
*Friends *Previous relationships
*Work (only if it's going well) *Future children
*School/Education *Work (if it's not going well)
One time when on a double date with friends, my girl friend who had come on the date with us, proceeded to give a long explanation about how someone could determine the fun, playfulness of a person by the color of clothing they were wearing. She described all the colors except for black as having a positive attribute. Black was apparently the color of someone depressed and melancholy. She was wearing white along with multiple other colors. I was dressed mainly in black. It turned out she liked the guy I was on a date with.
When on dates, try to make the conversation fair to everyone there. It's actually a pretty ugly expression of character to spend you're entire time on a date putting someone, or something, else down. We all have moments like that in our lives, but generally, those kinds of things should be kept to yourself, and should be avoided on first dates.
Also, sometimes it seems like you should have a support group with you when you go on a date, other times you are better off to go alone so that you and you alone are responsible for how you are presented. It definitely depends upon the situation, whether or not you really need someone to be there with you to help you with your conversations and compliments.
Either way, take some time to privately practice appropriate compliments, or generate a list in your mind of the things that you should, and should NOT say on a date, in order to make your date successful. Add to that something funny you could share, or a story about a recent trip you went on. Whatever you do, don't doubt yourself so that you, or someone else, ends up ruining your night. You deserve this chance to be on a date, make it a great memory for both of you!
--------------------------------------
Dating can often be like trying on a new pair of shoes. At first the shoes might be a little too tight or uncomfortable to be around, and you might not even buy those shoes. But if you go home, and just can't get those shoes off of your mind, you know you're probably going back to the store to get them the next day, in the hope that finally you've found another pair of favorite shoes. People are like that. Sometimes they're more uncomfortable and reserved on a first date, to avoid any hurt, which is perfectly normal to feel. It's on the second date or later on that you're going to find out if that person could be a great fit for you.
Compliments
Find something right away that you can compliment them on when you get picked up, meet at the restaurant, find each other standing at the corner, etc. Clothing, hair, shoes - acceptable. Boobs, six pack, fat suit - not appropriate. Only give a compliment you know someone would want to hear, and don't just say the first thing that crosses your mind.
Try to not judge a book by its' cover. You might not be instantly attracted to the person you are on a date with. If you're actively pursuing a relationship, rather than wanting a one night stand, take some time to see the good in the person you are with. You can't always control the way a person looks, but you can choose to accept who they are.
Giving a compliment can help you build a list of things you like about that person. It's not meant to be a chance to offer some kind of weird review of the person, or to do a backwards interview, but is rather a chance to see if you like the good you see in them. Keep in mind for later on the compliments you gave that person, and decide later if that's the kind of person you want to go on a second date with.
Conversational moments
When going on a date with someone there are some things you should, and others you should not, talk about.
Should Should not
*Sports *Family
*Hobbies *Marriage
*Movies *Politics
*Entertainment *Religion
*Travel *Diseases
*Friends *Previous relationships
*Work (only if it's going well) *Future children
*School/Education *Work (if it's not going well)
One time when on a double date with friends, my girl friend who had come on the date with us, proceeded to give a long explanation about how someone could determine the fun, playfulness of a person by the color of clothing they were wearing. She described all the colors except for black as having a positive attribute. Black was apparently the color of someone depressed and melancholy. She was wearing white along with multiple other colors. I was dressed mainly in black. It turned out she liked the guy I was on a date with.
When on dates, try to make the conversation fair to everyone there. It's actually a pretty ugly expression of character to spend you're entire time on a date putting someone, or something, else down. We all have moments like that in our lives, but generally, those kinds of things should be kept to yourself, and should be avoided on first dates.
Also, sometimes it seems like you should have a support group with you when you go on a date, other times you are better off to go alone so that you and you alone are responsible for how you are presented. It definitely depends upon the situation, whether or not you really need someone to be there with you to help you with your conversations and compliments.
Either way, take some time to privately practice appropriate compliments, or generate a list in your mind of the things that you should, and should NOT say on a date, in order to make your date successful. Add to that something funny you could share, or a story about a recent trip you went on. Whatever you do, don't doubt yourself so that you, or someone else, ends up ruining your night. You deserve this chance to be on a date, make it a great memory for both of you!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
My personal guarantee - the sign outside my dating door.
If I could hang a sign outside my door which described some of the most defining moments of my life, it would say something like this.
Before you call that number I hope you realize this is just a piece of creative non-fiction. That number might get you a pizza, an angry grandmother, or the local listing for your state prison. But it won't help you reach me. I'm just a momentary piece of luck, guaranteed to disappear once the next one comes along.
Having successfully helped multiple men find the true love of their lives while we were dating, before we got serious, after we got serious, before the engagement, after our marriage (and subsequent divorce), and while we were just "friends" - I have a little bit of a golden chip on my shoulder about my ability to truly help you find someone who will make your heart swoon. After dating me, you'll be almost qualified to give up all your other female "friends" in your endeavor to find the one that will own your heart, mind, and soul in order to truly fulfill her hearts desire - children.
Don't run yet! Having been wrapped up in that tight little bundle, remind yourself that during our dating "exercises" you found the courage to put the past behind you in order to become a family man, because I'm just that good!
After dating me not only will you be able to find the love of your life, but you'll be ready to leave the club scene, get a good job, buy a house, and finally commit to the woman you want to raise a family with, and really, truly, settle down! Imagine it!!! Finally, at your fingertips, the path to the future you always wanted.
Contact me today for a dating adventure that will truly alter your ego, and dissolve your mind!
*No intimacy allowed!
Guaranteed to help you find the true love of your life!
One date = $500.00*
Finding the love of your life = Priceless
One date includes: Confidence boosting compliments, conversational moments, clothing tips, hygiene advice, random embarrassing moments, dating advice, and the guarantee you'll never see me again!
Contact me today at: 1 - 800 - FTLOYLF (Find the Love of Your Life)!
Before you call that number I hope you realize this is just a piece of creative non-fiction. That number might get you a pizza, an angry grandmother, or the local listing for your state prison. But it won't help you reach me. I'm just a momentary piece of luck, guaranteed to disappear once the next one comes along.
Having successfully helped multiple men find the true love of their lives while we were dating, before we got serious, after we got serious, before the engagement, after our marriage (and subsequent divorce), and while we were just "friends" - I have a little bit of a golden chip on my shoulder about my ability to truly help you find someone who will make your heart swoon. After dating me, you'll be almost qualified to give up all your other female "friends" in your endeavor to find the one that will own your heart, mind, and soul in order to truly fulfill her hearts desire - children.
Don't run yet! Having been wrapped up in that tight little bundle, remind yourself that during our dating "exercises" you found the courage to put the past behind you in order to become a family man, because I'm just that good!
After dating me not only will you be able to find the love of your life, but you'll be ready to leave the club scene, get a good job, buy a house, and finally commit to the woman you want to raise a family with, and really, truly, settle down! Imagine it!!! Finally, at your fingertips, the path to the future you always wanted.
Contact me today for a dating adventure that will truly alter your ego, and dissolve your mind!
*No intimacy allowed!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Static
Have you ever felt like you're living your life in static? The kind that feels like you've been sucked into a television from the 1980's. The kind with the turn dial, where you actually have to get up off of the couch and change the channel! When I was a little girl I'd get up early on a Saturday morning, so I could be first in line to pick what cartoon we watched on TV. It was the only way to compete among 6 siblings. I'd sit and stare at the static waiting for the programming to start so I could be the closest and be in charge of at least one cartoon that I watched that day. I'd watch the black and white static jump across the screen and then start to blip as it moved into action. "Blip, blip, blip" the monotone colors would move up the screen. Suddenly things would go black and then "BAM" color. The program would start and I knew I'd achieved my goal. No one else was up yet, and so I had full reign of the TV.
Lately my life has been stuck in that static mode. Strange sounds, hazy thoughts and a shocking lack of action on my part. The "blip, blip, blip" of my life has just kind of blurred everything around me. The static wasn't that apparent to me until I tried to finally come out of the haze of my recent divorce. I wondered if life was really moving forward or was it backwards in some respects. Or was it really just that moment right before everything went black and then you weren't quite sure what would happen next. What would come next? Would I like what I would see? How long would my life pause in that flash of darkness before the light? What kinds of colors would dance across my life after it was finally over? Could I appreciate them, or would I just long to go back to the "blip, blip, blip" of a simpler and more monotone time of life.
It's painful to come back from something that's thrown you into that blip mode. The anticipation of getting past it is wonderful, but scary. It's nice to know that in time life can heal you from the things you go through, but there's nothing quite like just staring at the screen and waiting, hoping, for some higher power to have a change come into your life. It doesn't always happen though, sometimes we have to get up and change the channel to fix what we are viewing to pick what we really want to see and partake of in life. It isn't always someone else's job to teach us to seize a better life. No one else can fully remove the pain, because without the pain, what would we learn? And so as we suffer as we change and seek out joy, joy takes on a new face and is brighter and more peaceful than we could have ever imagined. But we can't ever find it until we get beyond the blip.
Lately my life has been stuck in that static mode. Strange sounds, hazy thoughts and a shocking lack of action on my part. The "blip, blip, blip" of my life has just kind of blurred everything around me. The static wasn't that apparent to me until I tried to finally come out of the haze of my recent divorce. I wondered if life was really moving forward or was it backwards in some respects. Or was it really just that moment right before everything went black and then you weren't quite sure what would happen next. What would come next? Would I like what I would see? How long would my life pause in that flash of darkness before the light? What kinds of colors would dance across my life after it was finally over? Could I appreciate them, or would I just long to go back to the "blip, blip, blip" of a simpler and more monotone time of life.
It's painful to come back from something that's thrown you into that blip mode. The anticipation of getting past it is wonderful, but scary. It's nice to know that in time life can heal you from the things you go through, but there's nothing quite like just staring at the screen and waiting, hoping, for some higher power to have a change come into your life. It doesn't always happen though, sometimes we have to get up and change the channel to fix what we are viewing to pick what we really want to see and partake of in life. It isn't always someone else's job to teach us to seize a better life. No one else can fully remove the pain, because without the pain, what would we learn? And so as we suffer as we change and seek out joy, joy takes on a new face and is brighter and more peaceful than we could have ever imagined. But we can't ever find it until we get beyond the blip.
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